Saturday, August 4, 2012

Coping With Stress

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How to deal with stress

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How is Coping With Stress

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Stress is nothing more than a socially proper form of mental illness. -Richard Carlson.

Stress is a killer. Stress affects not only your brain but it affects your muscles and joints, heart, stomach, pancreas, intestines and your reproductive system to name a few. And that's not it. Cortisol is the major hormone of many that are released into your bloodstream when you are stressed, and is produced by the adrenal gland. It can make you overweight too.

Cortisol is a steroid hormone that is released in response to stress, primarily to growth blood sugar and suppress your immune system. In a nutshell, failing to cope with and manage your stress will run you down and growth your chances of becoming ill. Falling ill while you stay stressed makes life even tougher. It's a vicious, self-perpetuating cycle.

Without delving any more into the science of how stress is produced and the history of how stress has driven evolutionary change, I want to teach you how to cope with it and eliminate all negative stress from your life. It in effect is quite uncomplicated once you know how.

First, let me share a brief peek into my one of my stories with stress.

I used to stress myself to the limits. It would influence my sleep, my eating habits, my sex drive,my work, family and group relationships to name a few. Left untamed, stress will consume you. And it consumed me.

For years I used all the wrong ways to try to deal with stress such as staying up late watching Tv until I fell asleep only to try to combat that lack of sleep with coffee and power drinks, self-medicating with alcohol and drugs, sitting in front of the computer until the early hours of the morning, gaming excessively and abnormally long and strange sex sessions. I tried it all, well at least I idea I had.

My stress levels rose so high that I landed myself in hospital twice. My last visit to the house of doom and gloom was after I collapsed in my hotel room in December last year. My chest tightened up so intensely and without warning. I was in agonizing pain. I idea I was having a heart attack. Sharp pains in my chest shot down my arms and back and sent me to the floor utterly helpless. After writhing colse to on the hotel floor covering for about 15 minutes and for what felt like a lifetime, I had a temporary relief from the pain and managed to call my doctor who advised me to go to the local hospital immediately. 45 minutes later I checked myself in, still clutching at my chest where I felt as though a balloon had been inflated inside of me, been deflated and was being inflated again. I was admitted at once. The next thing I knew I was shirtless, having needles shoved in my arm, being injected with morphine, and hooked up to an Ecg unit. I was made to breathe straight through an oxygen mask and was continually watched.

Note: All of those tiny Ecg electrodes they stick over your chest are horrible tiny things to remove. It's like a slow chest wax and the nurses love every second of it, smiling at you as they gradually pull the hair from your skin. Bless them, they are a distinct breed and I'll give them that enjoyment because I think nurses are phenomenal human beings.

The doctor came back shortly after with some blood results and said that while my heart rate was too high for my age, it wasn't a heart strike and was more likely to be angina. He wanted to keep me in overnight for observation, to run additional tests and didn't want me having to get out of the bed and disconnecting myself from all the equipment every time I wanted to use the bathroom. He suggested a Catheter. I am not sure if he was having a bad day or just didn't like me, but I wasn't being violated when it wasn't a heart strike and I figured the question was all because of my stress levels and lifestyle. What happened to using a bucket? I'm sure he was just being horrible on purpose. I'd rather chew glass than have to go straight through that contact just to urinate.

Against the hospitals advice and being too proud to have tubes shoved down my manhood, I checked myself out and went back to my hotel still feeling horrible and quite sick from the morphine. I poured myself a whiskey, knocked it back straight and went to sleep.

The next morning I woke and unbeknown to me was the dawn of the day the penny finally dropped. I caught my girlfriend of two months in bed with other guy that same morning. The trollop told me it was because she idea my admission to hospital was a cry for help and that he was just a friend she was talking to about me. It was an insult to injury. I desperately needed help with stress supervision and had to get on top of it before I stressed myself to death over scum like her on top of everything else.

I had bitten off far more than I could chew at an early age and had to learn how to deal with it. By the time I was 29 I was trying to run two businesses, flying colse to the world maintaining 9 regional offices in Qatar, U.A.E., S.A., Singapore, Hong Kong, Japan, Korea and Australia whilst having to put up with that unfaithful female who had the emotional maturity of a 12-year-old. I had already gone to hell and back growing up straight through my immature years and I only made things harder on myself by never truly dealing with the stress.

I couldn't find any person to who could enumerate on the same level and I was in dire need of good advice. So I went on a quest for knowledge, techniques and answers to my questions. I dug out all of my old hypnotherapy eBooks and along with the information I found online and at the library, put it all together.

Four months later, I won the battle. I got rid of the rubbish in my life, focused only on what was inside my circle of control and became a devotee of leisure and letting go. Below you can read some information I have written for you that will help you manage your stress so you can stop suffering and never end up like I did.

- recognize the source

Most ongoing problems, from polluted waterways to high stress have a source. Identifying the source of these problems is crucial and the key to beginning to deal with your stress. Identifying these sources sometimes is not easy as the true source isn't always obvious. You can in effect overlook the sources you generate with your programmed thoughts, emotions and behaviours. You might have to get a task completed by tomorrow for example, and once again you are stressing out about that deadline, but have you ever stopped to think about how it's more likely your procrastination and not the deadline that is stressing you out? I doubt you have.

To recognize the real sources of your stress you need to first look at yourself. Your attitude, habits, excuses and dislikes:

- Do you brush off your stress by saying things like "I just have a lot on my plate at the moment" even though you probably cannot remember the last time you just chilled out and didn't have 100 things to do and think about?

- Do you blame your personality for stressing out? "I'm just a nervous and anxious person, and always have been" This kind of statement is weak. The mind is a noteworthy tool; you don't have to feel like that.

- Do you offload the blame to others and events that are covering of your control? One of the best things a great someone once taught me, and that I had forgotten to keep in the forefront of my mind, was that you can only have an corollary on the things within your circle of control. Anyone else you cannot control should not influence your stress levels. As long as you are responsible, you can riposte to those incidents covering of that circle without incurring any stress. There are great ways to deal with these things.

Whether you like it or not, agree or disagree with me or just don't fully understand, unless you take accountability for your role in creating or multiplying the sources, your stress will remain covering of your control.

- Eliminate unhealthy ways of dealing with your stress

- Eating too much or too little

- Eating the wrong food i.e. Fast food

- Smoking

- Drinking

- Drugs

- Sitting in front of the Tv and computer for hours

- Oversleeping or not getting enough sleep

- Taking your stress out on others. Verbally and physically

- Over scheduling your day

- Procrastinating

- keeping length from loved ones like your family and friends

- Dwelling on things

All of these things only serve as a band-aid fix and make the situation worse in the long run.

- create habits of salutary ways to manage your stress

As previously mentioned, you cannot control everything. I want you to turn the situation or source of your stress, and if it is out of your control, turn your reaction. There is a widely used strategy for choosing either you turn the situation or your reaction and it is called "The Four A's" - Accept, Adapt, Alter or Avoid.

Everybody is unique in their response to stress and there is no one clarification to managing it for all of us. You are going to need to experiment with separate strategies and techniques.

The Four A's

Alter the stressor

Adapt to the stressor

Avoid the stressor

Accept the stressor

Avoid unnecessary stress:

- Avoid stressful citizen - citizen who always raise your stress levels and cannot turn their ways should be kept at a distance, or avoided altogether. Life is too short to connect with citizen who stress you out.

- sell out your to-do list - Go over your schedule a couple of times and create which items are "must do" and which are "should do". Put the "should do" items at the bottom of the list or get rid of them completely. If you can, delegate them to somebody else to get them done for you.

- Take more control in your life - If the morning drive to work is stressing you out because of traffic and every person else running the rat race, then go a separate route, get up 10 minutes earlier to adapt for the extra time it will take and you will be grateful when you end up at work relaxed having taken the scenic route. Perhaps you could take a cab instead for a couple of days to just chill out and be chauffeured. If having to get out to the supermarket tonight is going to stress you out, then treat yourself and get it delivered.

- Learn to say "no" - If you can foresee other accountability being dumped on you, take swift actions to dodge it or just say no. Do not bite off more than you can chew.

- Don't get into heated conversations - If the group you are socializing or working with are discussing a branch you get worked up about, for example Religion, Politics, Abortion etc. Don't get involved. You won't win anyway, neither will they, it's just a big argument you will all have and stress each other out over for no gain. Just walk away the bigger, cooler person. I am not saying back out of every argument, some citizen need to be put in their place, but in general, avoid hot topics.

You cannot and will not ever avoid all stress, however, you can eliminate the majority of your stress by identifying and eliminating unnecessary sources. Don't fail to address things that need addressing, but make sure they truly are leading and need your input.

Alter the situation:

- Compromise - if someone's behavior irritates you and you ask them to turn it, be sure that you also make a turn to help adapt that. Gift up a sell out or production a turn yourself can often help you both find a middle ground.

- Be assertive - Kicking back and not tackling problems head on is useless. citizen who always say "I need some space" or "I'll deal with it later" are hopeless. They bottle things up and generate more drama than is necessary. You will find that most 'Drama Queens' use statements like these. Don't be one of these people, and don't connect with them. Take the bull by the horns, which brings me to my next point.

- Let it out, don't hold it in or hold back - If something or someone is bothering you, address it quickly and with vigour. As mentioned above, bottling things up creates more resentment, anger, stress and can even cultivate hatred. Don't be one of these people, and don't connect with them.

- Time supervision - permissible time supervision and micro managing your priorities ensures minimal levels of stress as not only do you have a clear idea of your plans and commitments, you don't overload your schedule.

If you cannot avoid something that is going to stress you out then try to alter it. Figure out the things you can do to turn it or thoroughly avoid it in the future.

Adapt to the stressor:

- Focus on the positives - When you are stressed and plainly cannot find a way out, then think of the some good times you have had in your life and something that makes you laugh. Try to cheer up a tiny as it helps you see the situation straight through "positive lenses". It's going to help you keep a salutary perspective on things.

- Look at things differently - View stressful situations from a separate and clearer perspective. Don't sit in traffic and heat up over it. Take that opportunity to listen to some good music, a good talkback station or even call a friend who is probably stuck in the same traffic and tell them a joke or two, have a funny chat and smile at the stressed out drivers colse to you. Some of the looks you will get are very amusing. I watched a woman fuming in the traffic once with screaming kids in the back of her car. It was beginning to stress me out just watching it. When she looked over I blew her a kiss. It made us both laugh and I'm sure I made her day. Seeing her switch moods made my day too.

- Think of the bigger picture - Is feeling like this in effect going to help you now? Is it going to still be stressful in a week or a month from now? What about 2 years from now? I doubt it. If it isn't worth getting so worked up over then focus your thoughts and mental power elsewhere and on something more productive.

- You are not excellent and never will be - Nobody is and nobody ever will be, so don't bother trying. Determine for bettering yourself when inherent and without causing stress. plainly removing some stress from your life automatically makes you a great person. Just take one step at a time and don't aim for perfect. You won't ever get it.

- Adjust your attitude - The way you think has profound effects on how you feel and the responses your body gives. If you think negatively, your body reacts in a tense and anxious way. mental in effect however changes your perspective and allows you to be more productive, plainly because you are in a good state of mind.

If you cannot turn the source of the stress, turn yourself. Adapt and obtain control by changing your attitude, expectations and perspective.

Accept the stressor:

- Don't try to control what you cannot control - You are always going to encounter situations or behaviours you cannot change. Don't dwell on them; instead, you should focus on what you can control and the ways you react to such situations or people.

- Take a distinct episode from a negative situation - You all know the old saying "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" Learn from mistakes and bad decisions you made and take something good out of it so next time colse to you will be great off. Take my story mentioned above for example, by trying to turn and understand that horrible girl I was Seeing for a few months I got hurt and stressed out about it. I learnt the episode that not only do "leopards never turn their spots" but that I am far great than that and deserve somebody in a league she could never reach. Every cloud has a silver lining and you should always try to find one.

- Share - My father, bless him, always taught me that a question shared is a question halved. Discussing a stressful situation with a level-headed person, or just somebody who will cheer you up in general and who is ready to listen is not only therapeutic but chops your question in half instantly.

- Forgive - Let go of your anger, resentment and regrets when you can. You may always regret a decision, but Anyone you do don't let it influence you for too long. Let go and forgive the someone or the world for presenting you with a sour lemon.

You will always come over distinct sources of stress such as the death of a loved one or a terrible illness. While you have no control over it, you have control over yourself and need to learn to accept it. It can be difficult at first but you'll soon comprehend it's for the best and that life goes on.

- Give yourself some time to chill out

Looking after yourself and treating yourself is a necessity, not a luxury. Don't ever forget that.

Don't get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that you forget to take care of your own needs. Here are some good ideas to help cope with stress and to relax.

Go for a walk Pump some weights or do some cardio work Write. Writing is very therapeutic Take a bath Meditate and Self Hypnosis Plant or work your garden Get a massage Read a book Listen to uplifting music Watch a good comedy

Try to spend some time with distinct citizen who improve your life. A strong sustain system will help buffer you from the negative effects of stress and pressure in your life. Make sure you contain time for leisure activities that you enjoy, either it is cooking, playing a guitar in effect loud or going surfing. Rekindle old hobbies of yours and spend some time relaxing with them.

Laugh - I want you to try and laugh more often. Think of the things that have made you laugh in the past and relive some of those moments with good friends. Watch movies and Tv series from time to time that make you laugh. The act of laughing helps your body fight stress in a estimate of ways.

Get a good sleep - Sleep is the key to being healthy, wealthy and wise, especially if you are an early riser.

Exercise commonly - bodily practice is requisite to keeping your body in good health and a good session of cardiovascular activities such as a cycle class or a kickboxing circuit, does wonders for releasing build ups of stress and pressure. You can growth your resistance to stress by strengthening your bodily health. Be sure to check out the articles in the health and fitness section for a wealth of knowledge on training and eating correctly.

Self-medicating with alcohol, cigarettes and drugs may provide an easy escape, but the relief is only a temporary band aid fix. Don't avoid or mask the issue at hand; deal with problems head on and with a clear mind.

Eat well - Well-nourished bodies are stronger bodies great ready to cope with stress, so watch what you eat. Breakfast it the most leading meal of the day. I don't care what any person else tells you. If you start your day with the right fuel after fasting all night, you set yourself up for a more efficient and energetic day, more ready to take on the pressures and stress thrown at you, and have a much greater opportunity of chronic to eat properly throughout the day.

Feel free to leave a comment below with some of your own tips or share this report with somebody you know who could benefit from it.

Best wishes.

Nick

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