Is Infertility Biological Punishment?

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Think about an leading time in your life when you reached your absolute breaking point, when striving for your extra dream, or dealing with a personal loss, seemed all but insurmountable, and you asked yourself, "Why me?" 

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Infertility is just such a life challenge. When your dream of becoming a mother is shattered by the reality of infertility, your whole sense of self-worth comes under intense scrutiny. You may be tempted to think you must have done something wrong, sometime, somehow, and that therefore this was why you were doomed to failure. That word "wrong" could mean for you the termination of a pregnancy when you were too young to handle being a parent, maybe it was that pelvic infection you had to have treated after having sex with a partner who did not wear protection, and now God is punishing you.

Well, think again, because there is no statistically valid evidence to say that in women who have had a history of induced abortion there is a higher rate of subsequent infertility than in women who spontaneously miscarried. In fact, in the latter group, the incidence of infertility is actually higher. Similarly, in this age of Std's (sexually transmitted diseases), when pelvic infections are commonly found and treated, there are as many women in the Std group who successfully go on to have children as women who have never had an Std.

When well-meaning friends or family members have seen how hard you have struggled with infertility in order to come to be a parent, they might say to you, "Maybe it is God's will...". But they don't close the confident view behind their words, which is to say... " that you not be able to bear a child." When they say something like this, they have no idea how inappropriate their words are because they do not understand how life-challenging infertility is. Would they say this to your child in the midst of chemotherapy, struggling to survive cancer? Would they say this to you if you had come to be a quadriplegic in a car accident? That is why I get so angry when I overhear some infertility doctors say these exact words to patients when they feel there is no more they can do for them. Medicine is an imperfect science, but you have a right to your dreams and to try to bring them to fruition.  

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