Do You Still Feel Bitter Over a Past Hurt or Rejection?

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On the face of it, every relationship is a perfect relationship when it begins. It's the habitancy who spoil it by bringing their expectations to burden it! Just think about it for a moment, if whether party had No expectations of the other, and merely enjoyed what unfolded in front of them, accepting their partners as they are, there would be far fewer breakdowns. We kill relationships with our expectations because, as they are unfulfilled, we then get resentful, frustrated and bitter towards our partners. We blame them for things not working as expected.

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So your man (or woman) has hurt you, or you feel rejected and unwanted by a fellow you fancy. Bitter vengeful thoughts occupy your mind. You could cheerfully throttle them today. You feel actually bad every time you think of them. But bitterness should be avoided for five leading reasons.

First, potential partners come into our lives for any of four main reasons: To help us out of a crisis, to teach us something new, to boost our reliance and build us up to face the next stage of our journey, or to be the permanent spouse we seek. The problem with many particular habitancy is that they are so keen to find such a person, they tend to believe every man they meet will be the Big One, the permanent partner. They burden every meeting with that anticipation and are then surprised and bitter when it doesn't work out. Instead of allowing it to unfold in their own way, they expect a lot which is then not delivered. You cannot be bitter in such circumstances. You have to use it as a critical sense for life while you continue to seek that definite person.

Second, by being bitter, you are actually blaming man else for your feeling of failure or rejection, not taking responsibility for your own life. If things do not work out, then that guy is perceived to be responsible. But Both parties are usually responsible for any bad sense in a relationship. There is all the time a trigger, even unintended, for the reaction of others. If your man is suddenly finding man else, what is he missing at home? Why doesn't he find you animated anymore to hold his attention? What message is he trying to give you? Pointless just calling him a 'bastard' without finding at what you are not doing to preclude his defection. It is all the time easier to focus on others when things are not working out, but, most times, focusing on ourself to get the convert we seek is the most productive way of doing something clear about our situation. Blaming others is only a temporary palliative which does not make you feel any best long term because partners won't write back the way you want them to. Mental up ways you can convert the situation in your favour works every time.

Less animated and Depressing

Third, being bitter just keeps you in the same rut and robs you of a future. If you are stuck back there in the past reliving things and being bitter towards every new man because of another man's boorish behaviour, not only do you become less animated and depressing in the process, but you merely keep potential suitors away from you too. It also means that you are not learning from the situation and animated on to something better. You are actually using it to feel vengeful and martyred, which prevents your own improvement or any new perspective. Only by leaving such feelings in the past where they belong can you give yourself the new start that is critical in such situations.

Fourth, bitterness is negative emotion and that does not empower you and actually endangers your health. It merely destroys good emotions, makes you physically vulnerable and keeps you feeling impotent and inadequate. The more inadequate you feel, the more bitter you will become in a never-ending circle of negativity. You have to break that cycle to affirm the quality man you are, to reinforce your clear self so that you can operate your own destiny without leaving it up to the actions of others.

Finally, any form of bitterness or resentment of others keeps you tied to them too. Forgiveness is the key to animated on and to achieving greater things in your life. Harbouring bitter thoughts keeps you in a negative morass which slowly suffocates you, despite your best efforts. It would be like operating on one cylinder instead of three. By forgiving others, you also forgive yourself and replace the negative vibes with clear feelings. You also break the bad relationship permanently to get even more joy in your life and the kind of relationship you seek.

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